Victim of evil

She wanders the world
A lost soul in a sea of faces
All she wants is for someone to give her a voice
All she needs is someone to decipher her silence
She’s gasping for breath
Fighting to make sense of life
In a battle to end the strife

All she wants is for this to go away
So she can live again
Maybe even trust again
Is it even humanely possible that she broke so easily?
She thought she was stronger than that
But
This was different in a lot of ways
It was shocking that a thousand days later
It still hurt
It still felt like yesterday
Maybe it was
She wasn’t sure anymore

Every night took her back
To the day she lost it
Never to get it back
How could he cause her so much pain that she hated them all?
Even hated herself in the process
Because
In a way she blamed herself
She must have done something to deserve it
Wasn’t that how the world operated?
“You reap what you sow”
“What goes around comes around”
She had been told
So what was it?

How could wickedness exist at such a magnitude?
Surely the world wasn’t filled with such vile
There had to be some good to counter act such evil
A yang to every yin

She remembered the evil in his eye
How he didn’t flinch when he held her down
How her body tried in all its might to fight him
Tried so hard to protect herself
But she couldn’t
And all she could think about was how she should have tried harder
Then maybe…just maybe she could still be who she was from before
But it was too late for regrets

All she had to do now was pick herself up and move on
All she wanted to do was forget his face
And the way he looked at her when he was through
Like she was a piece of garbage
She didn’t matter to him anymore

She lay there
Violated and frail in body and spirit
From where she lay,she watched him zip up and walk away with the only pride she had
She closed her eyes as reality settled in
Her innocence was gone
Never to be claimed

WORD FROM AUTHOR: if you have been sexually abused or know anyone who has, please report to the nearest police station and PLEASE get help! Your life isn’t over!

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6 thoughts on “Victim of evil

  1. Wow! Beautuful writen and I hope and want them to REPORT IT! So very heartbreaking! God Bless

  2. Deb Scarfo says:

    Such beauty written from such pain. This wouldn’t be had it not been.

  3. T Scott says:

    Its sad that it takes things like this to bring out the creation us…

  4. Am glad u r a writer lyk me….u got amazing writing skills!!

  5. Thank you all for taking the time to read this and for appreciating it 🙂

  6. epbeaumont says:

    It’s been twenty-five years, but I still remember my buddy from college who worked as a rape victim advocate and crisis counselor (National Runaway Hotline in Chicago). She had been raped at 17. The thing she taught me:

    They call it “a fate worse than death” and make it so by not talking about it, and pretending that it’s more shameful to be a victim than a perpetrator. That’s flat not true.

    Every day that you get up and carry on and enjoy your life, you triumph. Every moment that you feel real pleasure is a score for your side. She said, “He had 45 minutes. I won’t give him the rest of my life.”

    She got help, and then she eventually arrived at a place where she could help others.

    Thank you both for the poem and for the message.

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