My A to Z list

A. Make a list of 5 things that are
in reach.
My Purse, my headsets, a tube of face cream, my headband

B. What is your favourite
holiday?
Easter.

C. What is your fashion style?
Urban

D. What’s your occupation?
In the process of looking for a job

E. What do you hear right now?
The television in the sitting room

F. Who was the last person you
hugged?
I can’t remember

G. What random song just
popped in your head now?
Solution-Hillsong

H. What did you do today?
Its just 9a.m

I. What was the last text message
you received?
From Kiwis,asking how I am.

J. What websites do you always
visit when you go online?
Twitter, facebook, wordpress,tumblr,the nervous breakdown, the single woman

K. What is your next big planned
purchase?
I don’t know yet…maybe a book by Paulo Coelho

L. If you could afford to go
anywhere in the world, where
would you go?
Bali

M. Where do you see yourself in
5 years?
Pursuing a degree in journalism

N. Where’s your tattoo/Where
would you like a tattoo?
Somewhere on my body…

O. What are you doing this
weekend?
Not sure yet

P. If you could play any musical
instrument, which one would
you play?
Guitar

Q. What’s the one thing you need
the most now?
For my sister to recover and come back home..

R. Are you a creeper?
What’s a creeper?

S. What is your dream job?
To work as a columnist

T. What’s the last good movie you
saw?
I don’t watch movies a lot but the last good tv series I saw was Castle Season One

U. What’s your favourite quote?
‘Attitude determines altitude’

V. What is your favourite colour?
White and bright colors

W. Give us three styling tips that
always work for you:
Am not really into fashion…

X. Coffee or tea?
Coffee

Y. What do you love to do when it
is drizzling?
Watch tv or read or sleep

Z. What inspires you?
Life

Life Right Now

Its been a week
Of me, seeing the one I love
Weak
In a state of helplessness
Watching her wither away
Like a dry flower
On a hot day
Watching her struggle to do
The things she’s been doing all her life
Watching her detest the food she
Once savored
How do things change in a split second?
One minute you’re laughing,
The next
You’re holding back a dam of tears
‘Don’t cry’
Am told
‘You need to be strong’
‘I’m trying’
I say
‘I really am’

Pillows flooded with tears
And inaudible conversations
Fighting to have faith
To believe everything happens for
A reason
But why is this happening?
Tell me why?

Life is weird
One minute
Reality is where I am
The next
Its like am dreaming
Hearing words I never thought
I would ever hear
Spending every waking hour
Wondering
Asking questions
Waking up
And expecting the worst

On my knees
My face wet with tears
Eyes looking up to heaven
Saying nothing at all
But I know God knows
And he hears
He never sleeps
It is well.
My God is Mighty to save

*** get well to my one and only young Sister who is Sick right now and will be going for an operation on tuesday ** please pray for her!! 😦

Happiness, Love and Beauty

I have been told, I have to create my own happiness
Before
I can make somebody else happy
I have been told I have to love myself
Before I can love somebody else
Or let somebody else love me
I have been told I have to believe I am beautiful
Before
I believe it when somebody else tells me

I am happy
I love myself
I am beautiful

Happiness baffles me
I choose to be happy
Laugh more
Enjoy life more
Take a few risks
Write some more
Maybe deviate a little from my style
Explore other ventures
Accept the place I am in
Be grateful for I am blessed
Not lucky
And it works
For days
I can’t stop laughing
Life is great
I enjoy what am writing
Personalize the place I am in
I am more blessed
Then I hear a knock on my door
*knock* *knock* *knock*
I get no reply when I ask who it is
So I open the day
Maybe the person is shy
But sadness creeps in
And happiness leaves through the back door
Its like I woke up
And am surrounded by weeping
I must be at a funeral!
How did things change so fast?

Love intrigues me
Is it an emotion?
An action?
A thought?
A myth?
A fantasy?
Whatever it is
I love myself
Completely and truly
With no room for leakage
I feel my love for me
My actions towards me symbolize how much I care
I feel it when I think of me
if you say you love me
I will not question you
Maybe I will
Maybe I won’t
But I will believe you
Its hard to explain love
I guess that makes it
An emotion

The thing about beauty is
It fades
Its not perfect
There’s always something amiss
A big nose
Small eyes
Little hands
Long feet
Short hair
In short
Outer beauty is vanity
Inner beauty is forever
I have accepted me
For better and
For worse
In sickness
And in health
For richer
And for poor
Till the day I die a natural death
Poverty won’t make me think less of myself
Sickness is a common denominator amongst us all
So getting sick won’t make me kill myself
I am more than just a pretty face
Adorned with makeup
I am more than just a body
Dressed up in clothes

I am a human being
In pursuit of happiness
Which is found in loving yourself first
And
Enhanced by you accepting yourself
With your imperfections

Gratitude

I went to church today for our weekly youth meeting which I rarely attend. It was awesome and I had a great time. The preaching was from Matthew 9:20-22 which talks of the woman who had a bleeding problem and was healed after she touched the hem of Jesus’ cloak. The Pastor encouraged us to have faith and be courageous like that woman who despite the crowd that surrounded Jesus;still fought to touch him and be healed.

However,the highlight of today was when an altar call was made for everyone who was having financial trouble where school fee’s where concerned and was seeking a break through. So many people went to the front, I was moved because sometimes I forget how blessed I am. I mean, maybe we all do but today reminded me that some things that come easily to me are a struggle for other people. So, I thanked God even for the little things like my being able to afford shoes whilst other people walk around bare foot.
We are blessed to bless!!

I hope we can all cultivate a spirit of gratitude in our lives lest we wake up and everything is gone.

Food For Thought : If you could only have today, what you thanked God for Yesterday then what would you have?

2011 in Review

Another year comes to an end. This year has ended rather quickly, it feels just like yesterday when I bid 2010 goodbye and welcomed 2011 into my life as my friends and I excitedly hugged each other, shed a few tears and prayed that this year would be different from the last.
Needless to say, this year has not been as good as 2010(which is the best year of my life). 2011 has been full of school stress, relationship stress, family stress, personal stress and every other stress known to man.
My resolutions are over and done with except one which I can’t do on my own so I guess next year will do :).
I want to thank my family for their love and support this whole year,I bring a lot of crazy into their lives but they love me still and they should.
My friends/sisters Kasy, Phyll, Steph, Lenga and Fay and all my other friends. We have had a fun year, maybe not good but fun. Maybe not this year or even next year but one day….we’ll dance on the streets coz finally; we’ll be dealt the right cards!
Every other friend I have made on facebook/twitter/wordpress, thanks for taking time to read what goes on in my mind/heart. You don’t know how much it means to me.

I personally can’t wait for this year to end because I am excited for next year as I progress onto another stage of life. Yayyyy!!

I can’t list all that I’ll remember from this year but 2011 has taught me that being pessimistic takes you nowhere in life so come 2012, I am embracing optimism. I’ll be the way I was, Lord knows this isn’t who I was; so mis-trusting of humans and thinking all everybody wants to do is hurt you. I want to live on the other side of life and believe again, that the world is bright and beautiful and beautiful souls exist and most of all that true love isn’t extinct.
This year has been quite full of negativity from within me and to some extent,the people surrounding me so I want 2012 to be the beginning of my life and I promise to surround myself with positive people hence I am leaving behind some people even those I call friends. Fresh start and all that cliche stuff people say every new years.

The blog will be updated everyday come 2012 *shrieks* I hope I can manage but I just have to. I have written so much the past few days that I am itching to share it with you all. I hope you’ll enjoy!! Thank you to all those who read and take time to tell me what they think. NOBODY would understand but those words are like music to my ears as they give me so much hope and I feel so loved (again, nobody can understand why). Thank you! Thank you! Thank you.
The blog will be a bit personal but I will upload a poem or two daily. Thank you, again.

Lastly, thank you Lord Jesus for being there for me this year. It hasn’t been easy (heartbreaks, loss, sickness, betrayal, death) but you got me through it all and I can face tomorrow because you live.

And now, a toast to 2012 (The year for all things true/ The year for the beautiful and independent ladies). Here is to true relationships,true love, true friends, writing about truth and accepting the truth about life….

Happy New Year.